:: nEveR bLaMe anyOne iN Life ::

#SharingisCaring

#CaringisLoving

#nLovingisAmazing

31 tahun aku hidup, I'm glad that Allah let me face with various of human's types...

Umo di ambang 30an ni, kalau before ni da jumpa ragam yg pelik, beberapa tahun kebelakangan ni paling rare skali dugaan tu. Yakni:

Golongan 1: 

- Hated me because dia rasa aku ni tak berapa masuk dgn depa sbb aku jenis tak layan gosip n cakap2 blkg... I usually senyum je n start pakai earphone dgr lagu bila depa start gosip n kalau depa tanya opinion, i just mention, ntah la, tak kenal sgt. Tak tahu nak cakap ape.🙄

Golongan 2: 

- Dont like me sbb aku ni jenis tak reti mencarut... lol (funny reason tp I am shocked too jgn ckp korang jeww). Agaknya dia tak tahu parents aku penah tengeh cabai *fobia kau* sampai skang aku mmg tak reti mencarut even dgr pun rasa nak terbalikkan meja (lol, no, I'm not budak juruh) berdesing telinga nk marah.

Golongan 3: 

- Dislike me sbb my mentor baik n selalu back up aku regardless aku bukan kaki ampu... Kadang2 superior suka mention tetibe tp aku tau time tu bos nk jg hati je. Kahkahkah... ms tu sumpah tak tau plak ada org tak suka cenggitu.. 😑 naif naif... ingat org baik ngan kita mcm kita baik ngan org tadek sbb tersirat... huk aloh. 

Golongan 4: 

- Disgust with me.Paling jahat gunting dlm lipatan, musuh dlm selimut tabur fitnah macam2 just because I dont own much salary tp aku boleh travel kadang2, n I'm still happy with my busy life. Ayat dia: untunglaaaaa byk duit... 🙄. Dia tak phm concept aku ni jenis suka reward diri sendiri bila da penat nk mati lyn perangai manusia mcm dia. Kah

Golongan 5:

- Unpleasant towards me n cakap aku bodoh 40 juta kali hari2, sbb tak pandai english... hoho... tang ni aku down weh sbb dia ckp, bukan u budak UIA ke? Mcm bodohhh je english.... #yesakuspeechless sbb tak sangka, org berpangkat gitu mmg tak civilize pemikiran dia... #akudoaesok2orgbuatanakdiamacamdiabuatkataku #doaorgteraniayamakbulweh

Golongan 6: 

- Disapproval to me so Told close ppl around them that I am not capable in certain tasks pastu kawan2 dia dtg duk buat joke sambil perli2 aku. Not mention it to me n tell me how to change the manner to be more capable personally pastu aku lalu tepi group depa, they laugh like I'm such a clown 🤡.  Yeahhh.. i face this group already

Golongan 7: 

- Unfavourable of me hence Ask me y i kawan/layan semua org sama je n sampai rapat ngan cleaner skali pastu dia cakap: you dpt faedah ape kawan ngan diorg? 😏. Yang ni aku terpinga 2minit setgh sbb macam, salah ke kawan ngan semua org? Ingat mati seksok, kawan yg kita duk gah sangat tu ke yg akan mandikan kita, kapankan kita, kebumikan kita? In my opinion, sape tukang mandikan jenazah kita pun, possible kita tak kenal pun... #cannotbrainthiskindofppl

Golongan 8: 

- Revulsion. Print screen my post yg macam novel pastu bukak group wassap n backbiting me... yeaaahhhhh... masalah dia aku yg tak tahu ni, jadik tahu sbb dia ngaku sendiri lps I block them. They feel weird sbb notifications aku tak naik on their home post... pastu tanya aku, aku block diorg ke? heeeee... such a brave person.. I respect!!! 

Golongan 9:

- Loathing at me is such a correct word. Bila kita rasa kita tak pandai, kita tanya, tapi bila kita tanya, they said: "Itu pun tak pandai ke?" Carik lah sendirik" 😅😝😜. Bila kita tanak nyusahkan, kita google sendirik n tak bergaul sangat ngan diorg lepas banyak kali kena ayat macam tu , they told the superior that kita bodoh sombong, tak pandai tapi tanak tanya... ok mister, What did I just do previously? #Eh

Golongan 10:

- Let say hatred??? They hate it sbb ada perkara kita champion, jenis tanak kalah pdhal kita tak kisah pun, sbb lain org, lain talent n skill dia... but they cannot terima... so, they make faces bila kita nk beramah mesra coz they think kita ni ada motif nk naik ngan depa.yang kita ni mmg tak pk negative pun... 

Itu antara 10 golongan manusia yg Allah bg kat aku rasa cemana berdepan ngan org gini... menipu la klu ckp tak terasa tak sakit hati, tak pikir, tak nanges, tak sedih, tak kecewa, tak down bagai... mmg tipu... 

Sampai ada satu kejadian, mungkin Allah nk tunjuk, few weeks on istikarah n solat hajat, when I went Hiking with my friends, my hp crashed, balik office tu, my laptop also corrupted... hilang semua conversations aku rekod kat hp all the bad thing they said to me, hilang kerja aku buat 2 tahun n back to basic... 

Mungkin Allah nk bg aku lupa semua n start from scratch...sungguh. Hilang beban dlm otak bila remove all of these ppl n no longer having any contact with them... mcm, no more aura negative nk serap ke badan otak, anggota badan bagai. 

N utk kita paham satu lg concept: kita takkan dapat nak puaskan hati semua pihak... kita ni, were born to be real, not to be perfect. N 

Never blame anyone in life.  Good people give happiness, bad people give experiences, worst people give a lesson, best people give memories.

P/s: Dont ask me how I survived, coz to be honest, me myself too tak tahu mcm mn aku boleh sabar n tak gila... 😂 but It does make my thoughts wiser n enhanced my matureness.

:: LiFe tHe LifE to thE fuLLesT ::

It's been a while...

A promise to always write up end up krik krik due to lack of ideas n poor internet connection. Heeeee... 

Occhaeturn, Let's!!! 

Back when I took a foundation in architecture n environmental design... I notice that I'm lacking of skills in designing building/structure. As well as part of the needed main point is gifted talent, I know that I will get lots of stress if I'm too stubborn to follow my ego... LoL. 

When my Lecturer assist me on choosing the correct path... Madam Yusniha told me that, I am good with imagination n inside mind visualise yet, I cannot transfer the image I created inside into a piece of paper. Senang cerita, ppl will not gonna understand my design coz I am too, tend to be confused with my own... 🤣🤣🤣

Therefore, knowing the lacking on this part, instead of following my dream to become an architect, I choose my plan B . ( Like u need to understand urself when u know u cannot do this job.. LoL). 

My plan B is kinda about follow the flow at the time or anything that I dream suitable for me to go with. The part of dreams that exist, still, I am very much  interested in designing especially the clothes n maybe some part of interior design but again, admit that I am bad on certain skills I choose to learn something equal to challenging architecture which is town planning. 

Plus minus, the course seems the easiest one after I compare to 4 alternatives course offered in the Kulliyyah (faculty) after architecture (quantity survey, interior design, landscape architecture& urban n regional planning). To be honest, town planning actually equals to architecture course to learn about. Ahahhahahhaha. Haish~~~

But, since it's already decided- n I vowed to follow the flow, I choose myself to be in this course. And I suffer. Ahahaahaha

My principle is simple. When u do hv a passionate feeling in certain things, it will always lead u to eagerly learn it by urself... hence, I challenge myself to do town planning bcoz it's a bit similar to architecture knowledge. ( this is my opinion... hahaha.. tak same pun weh!!! Sakit otak aku belajar 2-2 ni). 

I also think that why not I try to learn something I dont know, so it's will enhance my capability in absorbing another knowledge and thus, adding an extra info in myself. All of the above because I remember y there's a saying : 

'Tuntutlah Ilmu hingga ke Negeri China'

To me, the quote kinda send a signal that, you should not stay in one place n mereput. LoL... You should learn as much as you love and make sure to use the knowledge accordingly. The same reason why nowadays I suddenly would love to do psychology course LoL (I know I'm such a complicated lady... 🙄🤣🤣)

As far as I love to get out from my comfort zone, sometimes it's definitely not easy to deal with some feeling that usually a bit negative n downgraded my own ability. To me, it's normal that u doubt urself, u r not so confident with ur ability nor you felt stupid enough to go through. However, always put in the mind that, we only live once, & we died once, so, why dont we live our life to the fullest!!!

So Long...

:: 💔 ::

I hate it when I'm not busy...

Coz I usually fall sick n cry a lot...

As free time mean, I'll think.

A lot...

Of Ayahanda.

N that HURT. 

So much...

Jaebalyo...

Dear Job... please come to me...

Puhlisss...

Let me be busy again.

So that I wont think of him too much.

The pain sometimes too unbearable...

Coz it's define the true meaning of BROKEN-HEARTED.

:: Why I wEnt HiaTus ::

Salam Alaik and Hello there~

Ppl ask why I went missing for the past years especially in 2016 I hardly post even once. Therefore, below is the main reason part of busy with working n manage time to coop withbthe stress. Heeee..

So,

One of my sisters gave me this tru wassap... n I cried. 

Sbb hujung 2014, I am this person- When I lost my beloved Ayahanda. n hujung 2016, again- I was pull back to the same situation due to some personal matter. 

Alhamdulillah I'm getting better day by day. Kadang2 kita pun tak paham n sedar... n yes perkataan Sabarlah n jangan tinggal solat hurts so much sbb klu kita tak sabar n tinggal solat.. I'm sure I'll become like Chester Bennington LP. Tapi sbb ada ketika kita tahu Allah uji sbb dia sayang... n takkan letakkan hamba dia kesusahan yg tak mampu hambanya handle... We both survived. Both of us- we suffered so much n the way she know I'm ok back then only if I post something on my FB wall.. When I go idle 2/3 hari from my wall, 2 of them n my besties will keep messaging me, Ni mung kat mana, ni duk wak gapo? Ni mung ok? Ni jom kuar... They listen to my cry for hours on phone, n no, they did not provide solution... they just LISTEN TO ME. n that thing seriously keep me in track n actually save me.

So, to you who keep telling me I'm so transparent by just reading my FB post, Do knows that it was only a tiny dot you knew about me coz If I happen to write it one by one... I can be an instant author like Fattah Amin... LoL... 

#NoIdunlikehim
#MysisterKakNadid
#ImmoreonMachoManinsteadofJambuBoy
#Ahahhahahha

Happy Reading...

P/s: Thank You so much for who you know u r for putting some concern on my safety... May Allah bless u n grant u any doa asked. Wallahualam

_____________________________________________________________
Sesuatu yang ingin saya katakan tentang depression

Ada sebahagian klien saya adalah orang yang mengalami depresi. Depresi adalah sesuatu yang jarang kita nak cari kefahaman tentangnya. Dan ada sebahagian yang mengalaminya juga masih kurang faham tentangnya.
.
Bukan niat saya ingin menceritakan lanjut tentang depresi di sini, dan saya bukan orang yang layak untuk menceritakan tentangnya.
Bahkan saya juga masih belajar dan belajar untuk memahaminya. Dan rupanya saya juga pernah mengalaminya.
Alhamdulillah, I 'came back' better than who I was, mentally!😉
.
Bila saya coach klien, saya mendorongnya untuk fokus ke masa depan. Saya mendengar bila klien menceritakan masa lalunya. Namun saya tetap berusaha keras untuk 'tarik' mereka ke masa kini dan berfikir untuk masa depan.
And I found it harder to do it with my depressed clients.
.
Sepanjang dalam sesi bersama mereka, (mereka juga ada sesi bersama kaunselor dan psikitaris) ada satu perkara yang sama antara mereka semua. Mereka 'putus harap' dengan orang-orang yang mereka sayang.
.
Maksudnya?
Mereka kehilangan sokongan daripada orang-orang yang mereka harapkan.
Pasangan.
Ibubapa.
Adik-beradik.
Saudara-mara.
Sahabat.
Rakan sekerja.
.
Dalam sesi saya membantu mereka untuk breakthrough hal ini. Tetapi saya rasa tidak cukup sekadar membantu mereka yang datang bertemu saya. Bagaimana yang lain-lain?
.
Kawan-kawan semua,
Ramai orang depressed di luar sana.
Kita jarang perasan tentang mereka.
Mereka nampak normal.
DAN mereka juga ada akaun FB.
.
Boleh jadi mereka adalah rakan di FB yang kita kategorikan 'orang negatif'.
Boleh jadi mereka adalah rakan FB kita yang selalu marah-marah dalam post mereka.
Boleh jadi mereka adalah rakan Fb kita yang selalu share sesuatu isu secara konsisten dalam FB tanpa kita sedari.
Boleh jadi mereka adalah rakan FB kita yang nampak happy di FB sedangkan inilah saja tempat dia menyembunyikan kedukaan yang dihadapinya.
.
Dan kita?
.
Melabel mereka negatif.
Menghukum mereka.
Cerita tentang mereka dalam group WhatsApp.
Unfriend.
Abaikan mereka.
.
Mereka perlukan sokongan.
Mereka perlukan doa.
.
Kalaupun kita terbaca post yang kita label 'negatif'. Like lah! Komenlah dengan doa yang baik.
Pernah saya terima seorang klien hanya kerana saya like post beliau dan komen "Saya doakan kesejahteraan jasad, emosi dan roh untuk anda."
.
Kata-kata "Sabar banyak-banyak" sebenarnya adalah kata-kata yang pedih untuk mereka.
Apatah lagi nasihat seperti "Jangan tinggal solat".
Memang biasa untuk kita.
Pedih untuk mereka.
Mereka sangat fragile!
.
Hargai bila mereka mahu mengadu dengan kita. Maknanya mereka mempercayai kita. Sedangkan mereka sangat memilih orang untuk dipercayai.
.
Dengarlah dengan sabar.
Letakkan diri kita di tempat mereka.
It is ok to cry with them.
.
Most of the time mereka tidak inginkan nasihat kita.
Mereka hanya ingin didengari.
Itu sudah memadai.
.
Katakan kepada mereka :
💝Aku kesiankan kau.
💝Aku sedih. Aku faham apa perasaan kau.
💝Mungkin aku tak mampu nak tolong kau. Tapi aku akan sentiasa doakan kau.
💝Kau tahu kan aku akan sentiasa ada untuk kau.
💝Kalau kau rasa ada benda yang aku boleh tolong, pls let me know.
.
Itu lah yang mereka perlukan dari keluarga dan rakan.
Selebihnya, kaunselor, psikitaris dan coach akan lakukan.
.
Terima kasih kerana membaca hingga akhir.
Ini juga menandakan anda prihatin dan ingin membantu rakan-rakan kita yang depression.
.

:: Hey I'm back!!! ::

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hello peeps~~~

So, yeahhhh...

I'm back!!!!

Thank you for those who keep asking when I'll start to write again. haha... 

Loyal eh you all...

So, thanking you again and to all ppl who still here reading this boring and full of nags blog...

Apologize for the time being not write up for so long...

Owner ada masalah jiwa skit... haha

InshaaAllah will update it time by time since I'm kinda a bit free and happier nowadays..

So, refreshing the blog theme, the blog name, the blog post (inshaaAllah less stress post/ sad post.. auuwww), however, kinda would like to make it private... but yeahhh, tgk dulu macam mana ye...

Therefore, dengan lafaz BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM...

May August 2017 and onward bring me more joys, happiness and good memories...

May Allah/God bless all of you too...

Ameen~

:: Tahun Baru 2017 ::

Tahun Baru.

Usually orang kan sibuk ngan azam ah resolusi lah, macam2.

Aku? Yang 2 tahun sudah pun tak tertunai full… separuh je.. tapi aci la dari tadek langsung. It’s been a while to wrote anything about me. Banyak bebel kat FB n IG. Kinda penuh cabarah 2015/2016 ni. Hopefully 2017 I’m gonna get my confident back. So, how are u guys? Already? Doing good? Hopefully so. Hoping that this year I’m gonna be healthier and richer. Ahahhaah.

So, I graduated as a master student last Nov 2015. And pejam celik pejam celik, tetibe da setahun…. Macam.. eh? Kau? Aku blom jumpak boypren lagik. Gimana nih? Ahahhahhaha. After done with my thesis correction in April/June 2015, I got a job at MIP. N it’s been approximately 1 year and 7 months working as a programme executive there. Having happy and sad moments in those months n it’s not easy.

The most difficult part is I shrew my half of my confident level when working here n all of them in this past few months.A bit hurt, here n there but life must go on.

Thinking to writing ablog again to ease the hurt feeling coz I no longer have time to go for squash n Zumba. N hell, it’s not fun at all being an adult/mature person.

How I wish I stay being a kid n not have much worries compared to nowadays.Too much commitment, too much though to satisyfy people and too busy to look after myself.

Really hope that 2017 will bring much joys and happiness in my life. Hoping for more nieces n nephews to come this year and I was thinking to wrote a kid’s story book defining about what is town planning.

It was a good suggestion from Moji actually, one of my friends from MBC. Thinking to add the illustration by my adik, Jannah. But still, counting my confident ability to be more stable not looking down at myself tho. Gosh it’s damage me to the core. But Allah is the best planner.

May This year I’ll found my soul mate and getting married next year. Ahaahhahhahah… my sisters kinda start fussy and start being a match maker. Ahhahahha.

I’ll tell u in another post my criteria of the soul mate later on k. Till then,

Happy New Year and Happy Holiday. Thank you for still visiting this blog and know what?

2017 I cannot get out from Malaysia due to my PTPTN issue… maka, mari kita mereput kat Malaysia. Ahahahhahhahah.